journal icebreaker!

my first journal entry! let's talk about life, my art career(?), and why i made a website.

#personal #variety #ramble · posted 02·29·2024

happy leap day! if you're reading this in early 2024, thanks for checking out my neocities so early in its development. the site is still a big work in progress as of me writing this, so i really appreciate you putting up with the jank as i slowly piece this place together. you rock!

i hope i can be a lot more transparent with followers and friends through these journal entries. i've always wanted to try out a sort of commentary-style thing, where i give my thoughts and feedback on art-related topics. i considered an art youtube channel at many points for that reason, but the thought of recording and editing videos on the regular is... intimidating to say the least.

so for now, i'm just writing the scripts of these hypothetical videos and building an entirely new personal website to host them on despite having a total lack of coding experience. CLEARLY, this was the easier and less time-consuming option.

anyway, brass tacks. as i worked on the site on and off for the past few months, i kept racking my brain on how to break in the journal in the best way possible. a FAQ session? an art tutorial? my opinion on some recent goings-on in the "art community"? some grand announcement about my personal life?

i went through a couple different drafts for how this entry was gonna go. but i eventually realized that i was approaching it all wrong. if i want to be more open with my feelings, i have to do away with all the planning and drafting and just go off-the-cuff. so that's what i'm doing now, typing straight into the html editor, no notes. WE'RE DOING IT LIVE!

...but i didn't come totally unprepared. i should start with some recent events. a week or so ago, there were a few big scares that shook up tumblr, my main place of residence. one of which was pretty serious, regarding a long history of unfair treatment towards trans and black people on the site. in response to the claims of inaction and unjust banning, tumblr's ceo @photomatt went off the rails and turned out to be a lot more incompetent than previously thought (and that's saying a LOT). he and tumblr's staff can damage control all they want, but as long as there isn't any tangible change in how their marginalized userbase is treated, i'm not very convinced things will improve as fast as they claim.

on top of that, tumblr is now selling users' images and artwork to be used in AI learning for programs like midjourney. everyone's accounts are opted in by default, and you have to go into your settings to manually opt out. suffice to say, things are looking pretty grim for what i thought was the only social media site i could handle.

a few of my tumblr mutuals are preparing to jump ship to other sites, or at least make backup accounts elsewhere just in case things go even further south. while i don't plan on leaving my blogs anytime soon for a couple different reasons, it got me thinking about my time here on neocities. i started making a site here as a break from social media in the first place. it's a breath of fresh air that other social media denizens may take for granted: no algorithm, no advertisements, no corporations, your online space is yours to customize and curate as you please. places like these are an endangered breed, and if i ever wanted to cut off social media for good, i think this would be the place i'd want to spend my time instead.

as sucky as the situation is, it gave me a wave of motivation to continue working on this site. not only do i want it to host everything i need for my art career, but i also want it to be a safe haven i can fall back on if need be.

oh yeah! my "art career". is it even right to call it that?

i only ask because the line between "art as a hobby" and "art as a job" are getting blurrier and blurrier by the day for me. i finally graduated with a visual design degree back in december! ...but i'm not using that degree to work full-time for anybody yet. i do commissions! ...but i don't make enough for it to even be considered a "side gig". i want to do drawing streams and sell my own products... but how much monetization can you do until it gets annoying? how big of an internet presence do you need for it to not be annoying?? WHAT AM I DOING???

i want art to be my career, yeah! but am i far enough along to make it sound so official? ...but i guess that's the fun of it, getting to decide where the line is for myself. no amount of doubt is gonna decide it for me, so... it's a career because i said so! TAKE THAT!

let's see... i should probably start wrapping up. now that i'm fresh out of school and still looking for a "real" job, i'm at a bit of a grace period where i have a lot of time on my hands. i've been filling it out with commissions and zine work, plus getting as much gaming time in as i still can before i'm another cog in the machine. i'm close to 100%-ing splatoon's new dlc, i had no idea roguelites were so fun!!

the opportunist in me wants to use all this free time to the fullest, but the ADHD in me gave that idea a pretty big veto. i should be grateful that i'm privileged enough to have this time at all, and i should at least be resting and caring for myself, because even that's gonna get harder once i add a real 9-to-5 to my schedule. i'm a bit stressed out about it, but it's something everyone has to go through eventually... if the stupidest people i know can do it, than so can i! BRING IT ON!!!

i guess that's about it for now. i'll try to remember to make new entries regularly, i'm sure this'll get easier with time. thanks for reading this far, and good night!

viviraptor signing off! ❤︎